Don't look, Shamu!
by SilverScarecrow
Summary: Author: Tez-Taylor. Eisuke goes to Sea World with Haibara when Conan bails on him to go to a case. EisukeHaibara. OOC and Crack writing. Yay!


If you're a Shamu/Heiji lover, look away!!!

Eisuke/Haibara...fluff or whatever.....Enjoy.

* * *

"He's late..." mumbled a teenage boy looking at his watch. It was 15 after 1. "This is starting to get annoying..."said the boy staring out at the road.

He was standing against a telephone poll outside of Sea World, the agreed meeting spot with his friend. The boy was none other than Eisuke.

Just then, a bus drove up to the front of Eisuke and opened its doors letting out several people, none of which were his friend.

He looked at his watch again and sighed. He then noticed a small girl standing next to him calling his name.

"Hello?" he said to the girl. She looked like she was only in the 1st grade, around 6 or 7 years old. She had strawberry blond hair and a grown up look on her face.

"You're Eisuke, right?" asked the girl sternly.

"Yes I am, but who are you?" answered Eisuke curiously.

"My name's Haibara. I'm a friend of Edogawa-kun," she answered.

"Oh!" realized Eisuke, "Where is Conan then? Did he invite you to come with us or something?"

"Afraid not," answered Haibara annoyed, "You see, Edogawa was pulled into another case with Ran. He sent me here to tell you that your Sea World get together is cancelled...."

"Damn it!" shouted Eisuke angry, "I even went through the trouble of buying the tickets! Why couldn't he have called me?!"

"Well, he apparently broke his phone or something. And I was the only friend available, so I said I'd come tell you. I wanted to go shopping around here anyway..."

"Aren't you a little young to be shopping all alone...?" asked Eisuke examining the small girl. Haibara's only response to that was a glare, it for some reason scared Eisuke a little. He continued to talk then, "Well, now what do I do...?"

"What do I look like? Your mom? You figure out what to do with them..." Haibara said annoyed.

"I guess I can use them, but I wasted money for a second one..." said Eisuke pulling out the tickets from his pocket. He then got an idea, "I know! You can have the other ticket!"

"You're kidding, right?" asked Haibara glaring at Eisuke once again.

"Come on!" said Eisuke encouragingly, "This is like a kid's dream come true, right?"

"What do I look like to you? A little kid?" asked Haibara really annoyed now.

"Yes! Yes you do!" said Eisuke amazed by the girl's mature yet smug attitude, "Come on, it's free. I won't make you pay, Conan can later!"

"Maybe...I do like animals..." Haibara thought for a moment. Then she took one of the tickets out of Eisuke's hand and walked towards the gate.

Eisuke was happy to just be going to Sea World, one of his favorite amusement parks, with someone. Even though that someone is a smug little girl. Both of them handed their tickets to the person at the gate and he let them in.

When they entered, there were several souvenir shops and itineraries everywhere. Haibara ran up to one and examined it trying to find an animal she wanted to see. Eisuke looked at it too looking for one. Then Haibara tried running off but Eisuke grabbed her hand stopping her.

"Let go, dude!" she shouted trying to pull her arm out of his grasp.

"I can't let you running off on your own!" he shouted letting go of her hand.

"Why not?" Haibara asked annoyed.

"Because I can't let a little seven year old running around the park all alone. If you get hurt, I'll get blamed!" explained Eisuke.

"Pfft!" said Haibara annoyed of being treated like a little kid, "Fine! But I want to go see the Narwhals first!"

"That's okay," said Eisuke softly.

He and Haibara began walking in the direction of the Narwhals. Eisuke tried making small talk with the girl, but she was clearly annoyed from being within 5 yards of Eisuke. So instead, Eisuke decided to be quite and let the child talk if she wanted.

They finally made it to the Narwhals, but Haibara hadn't said anything. Eisuke was starting to get annoyed at her until he saw her face as she looked at the animals. She had an odd face of happiness. She truly looked like a child. Eisuke found her oddly cute now.

"What're you looking at?" asked Haibara breaking Eisuke's stare. She no longer had the face of happiness and was back to the mature annoyed one.

Eisuke woke up from his daydream and answered her, "Nothing...You done with the Narwhals?"

"Yes I am," she answered, "What's next?"

"Whatever you want..." she said walking over to another itinerary.

Eisuke followed and looked at the long list of animals. He liked so many animals and couldn't choose. Then he found one.

"How about the Bottlenose Dolphins?" he asked pointing at the itinerary. Haibara shrugged her shoulders in response and began walking in the direction alone. Eisuke hurried up and caught up to her side.

"You know, I can look after myself..." she said annoyed still.

"You're only 7, I highly doubt that..." Eisuke said laughing a little thinking it was a joke or something.

Haibara sighed again and continued walking. She really was getting annoyed from being treated like a child and was now regretting coming with Eisuke.

They then made it to the bottlenose dolphins and both of them watched them play in their tank with various toys. They stood there watching them play until Haibara tried sneaking off. Eisuke quickly grabbed her hand.

"Oh, come on!" she said disappointed her plan failed.

"Pshaw!" said Eisuke, "I'm not that easy to trick!"

Haibara stayed silent waiting for Eisuke to let go of her hand. "Are you going to let go anytime soon?" she asked impatiently.

"No!" Eisuke said annoyed himself, "I can't let you sneak off!"

Haibara was getting tired of this. She decided to play dumb for a bit until she found a chance to escape. Then she got a plan.

"I want to go see the sea lions!" shouted Haibara childishly tugging on Eisuke's arm in the direction of the sea lions.

"Okay, okay!" Eisuke said a little happier to see the girl acting happily again.

He walked with Haibara in the direction of the sea lions. But as he got closer to them, he noticed how crowded the area really was. Soon, he was in the middle of the crowd and he couldn't tell what was going on. Then he noticed that he had let go of Haibara's hand.

"Haibara!" he shouted looking around. He then saw her leaving the crowd in another direction, "Haibara! Stop right there!" But she didn't listen and started running.

Eisuke quickly pushed his way out of the crowd, even knocking over a few people. He darted quickly in the direction where Haibara went, but didn't see her anywhere. Then he noticed a near by bathroom. He figured she might be hiding there.

He then walked into the ladies room of the bathroom. Luckily it looked empty except for one stall. He decided to make it seem like he left the room, but he hid outside the stall door. It then opened and Eisuke shouted "Gotcha!"

But it wasn't Haibara. It was an elderly woman. She noticed Eisuke and got scared of him. She began shouted gibberish as she smacked him with her purse. He quickly ran out of the bathroom in fear and hid in the men's bathroom for the lady to go away.

When she did, Eisuke slowly walked out the bathroom and heard the laughing of a small girl. He turned around to see Haibara laughing at him.

"Where have you been?!" Eisuke shouted a little embarrassed.

"Dude, I was at the penguins. I was going to go to the bathroom when I saw the old lady beating the crap out of you," answered Haibara still laughing.

"Shut up!" shouted Eisuke still embarrassed. He did notice that Haibara was very cute when she laughed. Then he remembered why he was in the girl's bathroom to begin with, "I told you not to run off!"

"And I told you I was old enough to take care of myself!" Haibara shouted in response, "Now we're even!"

"We most certainly are not even!" shouted Eisuke, "And you're not old enough to take care of yourself! I don't know what your parents were thinking when they said you could go shopping on your own!"

"My parents are dead, you jackass!" shouted Haibara now pissed.

Eisuke felt like a jackass now. "I'm sorry...My parents are dead too... And my sister..."

"I don't need to hear your life story," said Haibara annoyed, "Besides, I already know all about that."

"You...You do...?" asked Eisuke confused.

"Well, duh..." Haibara said sarcastically, "Kudo told me everything!"

"Kudo?" asked Eisuke, "Wait...do you know about Conan then?"

"Well, yeah. It's not that hard to figure out, clearly..." Haibara said, "I mean, you figured it out!"

"How'd you find out?!" Eisuke asked ignoring the insult.

"Well, since I'm the one that did it to him, I'd think I'd know..." Haibara said jokingly.

"But you're a little girl!" Eisuke said confused.

"Dude, I'm just like him..." Haibara said amazed by how Eisuke hadn't put it all together yet, "My real name's Shiho and I'm really 18."

Eisuke was now really confused. He never figured out how Shinichi became small, and now there's another one running around.

"Pfft... Why am I telling you all this...?" Haibara asked herself out loud.

"Sorry..." said Eisuke.

"Huh?" asked Haibara confused.

"Sorry for treating you like a child. But really, how was I suppose to know?" said Eisuke.

"It's okay, I guess. I don't get any respect in the first place. Even when I was an adult..."

"I respect you!" said Eisuke, "I mean, you'd have to be smart to turn Conan and yourself into kids...that or you're magical..."

Haibara laughed at that comment. Haibara was in a better mood now that Eisuke said this.

"Well, where to next?" asked Haibara.

"Where ever you want to go....can I still call you Haibara?" asked Eisuke confused.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead," said Haibara, "Why don't we get some food now. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

"That sounds cool to me," said Eisuke looking for somewhere to eat. He then found one and started walking towards it. Haibara followed, until they found the restaurant crowded. Eisuke didn't want to loss track of Haibara and grabbed her hand.

Haibara didn't struggle this time. Partially because she knew why he was holding her hand, and because she didn't mind it anymore. She actually liked it a little now.

Eisuke made it into the restaurant, which wasn't as crowded as the outside. Eisuke forgot to let go of Haibara's hand and continued to walk up to the counter to order their food.

"What would you like to order, ma'am?" asked the man at the register.

"Just give us some sushi," said Eisuke, "And I'm a boy…"

"Coming right up, ma'am," said the man ignoring what Eisuke just said, "Be a minute, go ahead and take a seat."

They both took a seat at one of the tables. Neither of them really felt like talking much, so they just kind of spaced out. Then a call came from behind Eisuke.

"Yo!" shouted someone with a familiar voice.

It was none other than Heiji, the Osaka teenage detective. He seemed to be alone and noticed Haibara in the restaurant.

"Oh," said Haibara, "It's the Osaka boy…"

Eisuke looked confused as Heiji joined them at the table.

When Heiji noticed Eisuke, he said "Hey! Ain't ya the boy that I had to stalk for a bit?"

"Excuse me?!" asked Eisuke confused and horrified.

"Whoops! I mean…ahh…" said Heiji trying to cover it up.

"Well, whatever. Eisuke, this is Kudo's friend Heiji," Haibara said quickly changing the subject, "He knows about Conan too…"

"He knows too, huh?" asked Heiji.

"Yeah, he knows about me too," responded Haibara. Just then, their sushi was delivered to the table. Heiji immediately started eating some.

"You better be able to pay for some of this…" said Eisuke glaring at Heiji.

"Don't worry!" reassured Heiji, "I got money!"

"Okay," said Eisuke, "So, you here with anyone?"

"Nope," responded Heiji, "I got a free ticket from a client to swim with Shamu. I still have to do it. Hope you guys come, it'll be quite a show!" Heiji gave an evil grin, then continued to talk, "You guys here together?"  
"Yes, we are," said Haibara before Eisuke could answer, "Kudo was supposed to come, but him and Ran got into another case."

"Ah," said Heiji shoving more sushi into his mouth, "Well, the show's at 4. That's in an hour or so. Make sure you guys come!" Heiji then rose from his seat and started moving towards the bathroom, "Be right back…"

Eisuke and Haibara then finished the plate and sushi and Eisuke waited for Heiji to come out of the bathroom. When 10 minutes passed by, Eisuke knew something was wrong.

"I'm going to check up on him…" said Eisuke a little worried.

Eisuke walked into the bathroom and saw that all the stalls were open. He wondered where he went until he noticed that the windows were open.

'Bastard…' thought Eisuke as he walked out of the bathroom.

"What happened?" asked Haibara.

"The asshole escaped through the windows and skipped out on the bill!" said Eisuke pissed off.

"Would you know…" said Haibara annoyed, "Look, I'll pay for his half."

"No, no. It's okay!" said Eisuke, "I'll just charge Shinichi with it later!"

Haibara laughed at this; Eisuke did too. Eisuke then paid for the meal and they both left the restaurant.

"What to now?" asked Eisuke.

"How about the polar bears?" asked Haibara noticing the near by exhibit.

They both then went to it and watched as the polar bears played with a ball and swim. When that got bored, they went to other near by exhibits, such as starfishes and penguins (since Eisuke didn't get to see them before).

"What time is it now?" asked Haibara looking at another itinerary.

"How about the Stingrays?" asked Eisuke happily.

"Oh yeah!" said Haibara also happily, "They're set out so you can pet them, right?"

"Yup! They're one of my favorites!" said Eisuke, "We might not be able to see the start of Heiji's show, but we can see the rest of it. Let's go!"

Both of them ran quickly to the stingray exhibit. There was another large crowd in front of it, so Eisuke again had to hold Haibara's hand. They made it though the crowd to find the tank with the stingrays inside open. They both sat down next to it and begun petting the stingrays.

"They're so cute!" said Haibara in a happy and childish voice.

"Like you…" mumbled Eisuke, who said it on impulse.

"Excuse me?" asked Haibara confused.

"Nothing…" said Eisuke again petting a stingray.

"Seriously, what did you say?" asked Haibara again.

"I said that you were cute…" mumbled Eisuke again.

"Cute?" asked Haibara.

"Maybe…" responded Eisuke.

"Do you really think so?" asked Haibara.

"Huh?" asked Eisuke confused.

"Do you really think I'm cute?" asked Haibara sternly.

"Honestly, yeah," answered Eisuke, "You're as cute as Ran, if not prettier…"

Haibara was surprised by the comment, "Umm…thank you…"

"It was nothing I guess…" said Eisuke looking down at the little animals in the tank, "Don't mention-"

Eisuke was cut off from Haibara kissing him on his cheek. Haibara only gave him a quick kiss and returned to sitting and petting the stingrays.

"Tell anyone I did that, and I'll kill you and your sister…" said Haibara with a red face.

"Okay…" said Eisuke also embarrassed.

Before they could say anymore, a tall security guard stood in front of them blocking the sun.

"Sorry ma'am," he said to Eisuke, "You and your little sister are going to have to leave the park."

"Huh?" started Eisuke, "Why?!"

"Sorry," he said the man again, "Some dark skinned boy thought it'd be funny if he'd had sex with Shamu when he was swimming with him…And then there were two cops having sex in the bathroom. And then there was some American women having sex under a table in a restaurant with man in a black knit hat. There has been too many people having sex here!"

"Wow" was the only response Eisuke and Haibara could come up with. They then left the park and got on the bus and started going home.

"Well, I guess this is good-bye…" said Eisuke rising from his seat when they made it to his stop.

Just before Eisuke left the seat, Haibara handed him a piece of paper.

"What is this?" asked Eisuke.

"My phone number. Call me on Monday," said Haibara red in the face.

Eisuke nodded and got off the bus and entered his apartment complex.

* * *

Some days I ask myself: "Why, Tez? Why do we hang out? What possesed you to write this!?"

~SS (Posted it for Tezzy cause she's a lazy git. Review, tell her she needs help)


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